Thursday, April 23, 2009

Samantha Haberkorn Coffee Table

I'm giving this weeks "ThatManDintCare" Award to this Craigslist author. He pretty much sums up his feeling with his own comments.

Samantha Haberkorn Coffee Table - $50 (East Village)

Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-22, 11:46AM EDT

With those cold depressing days of winter behind us, if you can't frolic through the wildflower fields of Southern California, then what better way welcome the warm weather than sprucing up your boring apartment with a little spring decorating.

Hurry now because this original Samantha Haberkorn coffee table won't last long. What? You've never heard of the Samatha Haberkorn collection? Maybe that's because you've never been to a brothel or visited enough public bathroom stalls where you surely would have seen her name etched on the wall. Samantha Haberkorn is my ex-girlfriend and two weeks ago I plowed her on top of this coffee table before she squeezed her fat ass back into her size 12 jeans and went out to the Pig'N Whistle and banged my best friend (who she's now dating). Don't let the glass top fool you. It's 3/8" thick, can take a pounding and cleans up fast (personally I suggest 409's spermicidal-antibacterial all surface cleaner).

Dimensions: 50'' L X 28'' W X 16"H
Asking $50 or best offer. Would need to pick up from my place in the east village. Email me if you are interested.

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


Katie said...


Anonymous said...

This is hilarious!

Team Thompson said...

That could be the best posting ever.

Extra credit for using the word plowed.

Anonymous said...

Plowed, Pounded and Railed all make me laugh.

By the way I am 8 years old but I drive a car.

BWL said...

boned and banged are also in the category of plowed, pounded, and railed...always make me laugh

Unknown said...

Oh. My. Gawd.

I have no words. I can't stop laughing.