Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Got Goat?

This one was sent in by two different people in two different towns. I would have said cities but if you are posting something like this you don't live in a city you live in a town. Thanks Allison and Danyelle.

I was accused of killing a neighbor's goat when I was younger.
Yes I lived in the city limits...I guess town limits from my previous statement.

Want to Borrow Goat, Llama, or Chicken (the office)


Reply to: sale-vfx4b-1101285407@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-03-31, 6:32PM EDT


This is going to sound extremely strange, but I would like to borrow (rent) a goat, llama, or possibly even a chicken or pig for a day. I was the victim of an extremely elaborate and well executed practical joke and need to return the favor to my boss. I promise the animal will not be harmed in any way, or mistreated. It must be people friendly though, house trained is definitely a plus, and should be used to small crowds. I would obviously prefer a llama due to the fact that walking in to find a llama in your office would just be surprising enough in itself. However, any other surprising animal would work. If the animal is small enough to be transported in a truck (pig? chicken? goat?), I'll pick it up and make sure it gets home safe. If it's too big, I'd be happy to compensate you for your time and for driving the animal to me. Thanks in advance.

  • Location: the office
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests




PostingID: 1101285407

Let's dissect this beauty...


This is going to sound extremely strange,
You are correct with this first statement
.

but I would like to borrow (rent) a goat, llama, or possibly even a chicken or pig for a day
I'm pretty sure if you use the word "rent" then you can be charged with prostitution and possibly bestiality in certain states not named Alabama.

I was the victim of an extremely elaborate and well executed practical joke and need to return the favor to my boss.
Dude you are about to get fired. The boss can do things to you that you can't do back to him. You may want to rethink this.

I promise the animal will not be harmed in any way, or mistreated.
You are asking for a goat, chicken or pig. We eat these things so eventually they will be harmed.

It must be people friendly though, house trained is definitely a plus, and should be used to small crowds.
Raise your hand if you have a house trained goat, chicken, llama or pig? If you do please email me so I can interview you personally.

I would obviously prefer a llama due to the fact that walking in to find a llama in your office would just be surprising enough in itself.
Yes...Obviously

However, any other surprising animal would work.
How about a bobcat? Would that scare the shit out of your boss or what? Maybe a Sea Horse or Giraffe? If I walked in to my office to see a Sea Horse typing away on my computer I would be shocked to say the least.

If the animal is small enough to be transported in a truck (pig? chicken? goat?), I'll pick it up and make sure it gets home safe.
It's like you are asking it out on a date and having the talk with her dad before she comes down stairs. I do commend you for that.

If it's too big, I'd be happy to compensate you for your time and for driving the animal to me.
That's what she said! (Sorry I couldn't help myself)

Thanks in advance.
No, thank you kind sir.

2 comments:

KBL said...

Was this on craigslist? This dude cannot possibly be serious. And if he is, what livestock owner peruses the interwebs looking for someone to rent their pet llamas?

Team Thompson said...

I believe this is the same lady who jumped in the pool of polar bears in Berlin.