Thursday, September 4, 2008

Scoops and Ups

You've seen them before but you had no idea what they are called. Of course I am talking about "Scoops." Not the scoops to the right that are so crunchy and delicious with cheese dip or salsa...

Nope I'm talking about SCOOPS!!!

Scoops are simply white shoes. Usually ultra white tennis shoes with minimal color if any at all. Scoops are not limited to only tennis shoes but the best ones can be found with dark colored jeans. If you are lucky enough you will spot them with jean shorts.

The following Scoops were all taken out in the wild with my camera phone. You can laugh all you want but it's dangerous getting pictures like this. Before I knew how to turn my sound off the camera would make a clicking noise when the picture was taken. The best way to cover this up was to cough just as I clicked the photo. Another problem is when the scoop wearer is walking while I am trying to take the picture. These are very hard pictures to get with a camera phone.

I ask if you see any scoops in the future to get a picture of them and send them to me at

Here are a few examples of Scoops...

These are scoops with jeans. Pretty common
for serial killers in their 30's and 40's.
They can also be found at Dragon Con, Bus Stops and GA Tech.

These Scoops are so white that it blurs my camera. If Angels wore shoes they would wear these. These jeans also are a little more baggy than the previous picture. This guy was trying to dress up and this is the best he could do.

Notice how well a pair of Scoops go with some jeans that are too short when you sit down. I think it's because the tongue on these are so nice the guy wants you to see them and enjoy them like he does.

All the man to the left cares
about in life is making sure
he doesn't get these
bad boys dirty.

Apparently these shoes are real hot sellers around the Smyrna area. This guy went with this look before heading to Taco Bell for a Mexi-Melt. He was in such a hurry that he didn't have time to use the velcro offered on this model. If they were mine I would strap them down so nobody would steal them off my feet. Honda Accords, gold watches and Scoops are the most commonly stolen items according to

Ladies and gentlemen.....I give you Ups!

Ups are nothing more than socks that are pulled up high. This isn't a great example but when combined with the power of Scoops and shorts they are almost unstoppable. See the line on the floor there? That man has just crossed it and he doesn't give a damn.

Scoops, Ups and Shorts...
This man has to be hung like a donkey to leave the house this way.

I leave you with the Ultimate Scoop. If I ever get to Heaven I am going straight to God's closet and looking for the matching mate to this Scoop.


Unknown said...

I am super pumped about this update!


Anonymous said...

Is this funny? I own several pairs of scoops and love them. I prefer scoops, ups, and capri's. It's a sweet combination.

Anonymous said...

They only way this could have been gayer would be if you wrote an essay about a forrest o' penises blowing in the breeze

Anonymous said...

Don't ever do this stuff for a living because you will starve to death.

Josh said...

Hey Anonymous guy way to be cool and anonymous at 3 AM. If I ever decide to do this for a living I will ask your opnion next time I get a pizza delivered.

Mr. 11:35 on a Saturday night Anonymous would know about a forest o'penises I guess. 11:30 on a Saturday night and you are posting on blogs?

Have you ever seen a bare breast in person?

Get off the couch, get your hand out of the Cheetohs bag and go get laid. You should call the other guy's mother because he doesn't get home his pizza job until 3:30 in the morning obviously.