Thursday, February 14, 2008

Kid Rock, Feminists and Getting Older...

Well....Here it is.

My 31st birthday and I've decided to start a blog chronicling the rest of my year or life...whichever comes first I guess. Actually that is too nice of a word for this blog (chronicling). It's not a word I use in everyday life so I'm not using it here. Professor Teeter isn't here to fail me this time either! Ha! You will get an entirely new language on this site. Words like "Rough", "Sod" and "BFG" will be used in ways you never thought possible.

(By you I mean the 3 people who will read this)

I'm a simple guy with good stories (sometimes great stories) that I will share on here.

How simple?

Just looking around my apartment I have only a few things worth a damn. They include an over sized chair that I am sitting in right now. A couch a buddy gave me because his wife was going to make him burn it when they got married. A TV the size of Cobb County that puts off enough heat so I don't have to turn on my heater in the winter (no joke). Maybe the best thing I have are 800 count bed sheets. Oh yeah and I almost forgot about my plant. I got it 3 weeks ago and it's already turning yellow...

How good will the stories be?

I'll start you off with this one which ranks about a 2 on my tame/random meter...You aren't ready for the 10's yet and you know it.

I posted an ad on a few days ago because I was bored. It's for a free ticket to see Kid Rock with me. The Make A Wish Foundation will probably get wind of this and want to offer this up yearly. (I'm game if they are)

You can check the ad out here...

Kid Rock Ticket (Free) - $1

My friends laughed about it...

My friends really laughed about it when I got this email in response...

You are a scumbag. I cant believe you objectify girls this way. Compare me to a wolf? Well you are a dog.
Feminists United for America

I respond with..

So is that a no? Can I see your picture just to make sure you don't have nice breasts or long legs.

The next email from her is where I find out she was drafted by the WNBA and voted for Hillary in the elections last week.

Thats a hell no. You wouldnt know what to do with me if you had the chance. You cant have a picture but I'll describe myself. A cross between ellen, Rosie O'donnell, and Michael Jordan.
Oh yeah..and Kid Rock is for girlie suburban nerds.

When I think Kid Rock I think "girlie suburban nerds" don't you?

FYI, those girls listed in the ad are all real. I wonder if they know who they are? I've already had one girl tell me that she isn't a stalker. Funny thing is she isn't even on the list. I'll probably take her to the concert. Ha!

I'm off to bed. My family loves to call before the sun comes up on my birthday. That's rough for those keeping track at home.

(Enjoy this Katie)


clogan said...

Candice Logan with the New York Times says "This is a Best seller and some funny shit" :0)

Katie said...

Great post! I can't wait for the next installment.

Katie said...

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez nuuuuuts


Anonymous said...

Great work.